a paperback novel

As thuggish mentioned, this is not only a blog about how much we hate blogs but about things we hate in general. This being the case I present to you Chad Kroeger of the band Nickelback. Mr. Kroeger represents everything that is evil in this world. Chad's lyrics cut right through my soul and not in a good way... because upon incision I begin vomiting blood. I wish I could write some witty little ditty (don't steal that line Chad) about how awful he really is, but the fact is his lyrics tell-all and truly expose him as the worst singer/song writer of all time... I simply cannot compete. So what I leave with you today are some of my most beloved lyrics from the pure genius that is Nickelbacks front man..take it away Chad.


I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels

Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes

Sign a couple autographs

So I can eat my meals for free

(I'll have the quesadilla, uh huh)

I think I'm gonna dress my ass

With the latest fashion

Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion

Gonna date a centerfold that loves to

Blow my money for me

(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame

I'd even cut my hair and change my name"

He managed to "rhyme" tassels with assholes AND mention that he has a hankerin' for a Quesadilla in one verse. Bravo.

Kim's the first girl I kissed

I was so nervous that I nearly missed

Look at this photograph

Every time I do it makes me laugh

How did our eyes get so red?

And what the hell is on Joey’s head?

Kim's eyes got so red because upon hearing your music she attempted to cut them out with a dull machete to ease the pain of her ears...

Well someone spilled the beans and now her name's in the press

Tough to keep it all a secret when you're one of the best

The judge is going easy because he paid for her chest

Yeah he loves his little naughty wicked witch of the west

It's like a 3rd grader learning the magic of rhyme for the very first time



...and finally

"S" is for the simple need

"E" is for the ecstasy

"X" is just to mark the spot

Because that's the one you really want.

Sex is always the answer, it's never a question,'Cause the answer's yes.

Oh! The answer's: yes.

no words

Contemplating his next masterpiece...